I write this in a moment of grim clarity..I was writing a previous post about what life would have looked like if it had turned out differently for me. I was feeling vacant, bored, empty, directionless, inspite of the many deadlines that are a common feature of academic life. I was reminiscing, just dreaming, wondering what if I had achieved everything I had wanted in life.

Then I read this news story. Its one that is all too familiar..academic stress leads a student to take the extreme step. Graduate life has claimed one more casualty. Who is most affected by this? Just the student's immediate family. Do we bat an eyelid to do anything at all as a remedial measure so that we can prevent this from happening to someone we know or work with? Is life really that fragile that one setback or a series of them are enough to throw us off balance and take the extreme step? What can we do as students and as concerned individuals to prevent oneself and others from slipping into a dangerous cycle where we think we have reached the point of no return?

I for one can say that I have had to face my share of setbacks, some of them very severe, and that resulted in a state of depression that lasted many days. But thanks to family and peers, I slowly and surely recovered. I did have dark thoughts about the future, and the very dangerous 'what if..' question. But I never did act on it. Call me chicken, call me whatever you like, whenever there's something negative that threatens to take me over, there's just this small voice, a tiny force that says, 'hang on, fight one more round, see how it goes, its not over yet'..the support of others around you, is valuable, i agree, but there is something that one must look within, dig deep within oneself and draw on our own personal strengths to hang on.

I dont know how the future will turn out, whether it will be good or not. I can control and focus on TODAY, on NOW. And maybe, just maybe, it will all be okay. Graduate life specially when one begins to think deeply about one's research, can be often a lonely experience, one that takes us down the path of rumination, and is not just a cognitive but also an emotional experience, the thrills of discovery, the joy at solving a problem are all too familiar to most of us, as are times of sadness when the problem we are working on just wont develop, ideas just dont come to us, and things are in a lean phase-it is at this stage that one should be careful to do the things one likes to do, talk to people, read, watch movies, listen to music, do anything, but do not allow ureself to fall into the negative mindset. Bullet points would be a good idea at this stage, to offer a brief action plan on what to do to deal with lows as a graduate student (believe me, this is just someone who is a grad student herself, so perhaps, my tips wont be all that fancy, just very simple things that I do to get rid of or deal with the blues..)

1. Sing a song-works for me ALL THE TIME ;)
2. Listen to music-works for me MOST OF THE TIME
3. Talk to friends, family
4. Read your favorite books, authors
5. Write a blog, poem, article, or just a journal
6. Jog, walk, swim, dance, cook, meditate (some of my most focused grad student friends meditate, and the results are there for all of us to see :))
7. Go to the movies
8. Take up a hobby or develop an existing one
9. Invite friends out for a meal, or go visit them
10. Ask for help, reach out
11. Smile, just practise that-develop a sense of humor
12. Develop a step by step (psychologists like to call simple things fancy names, so well, develop a 'problem-focused';)) strategy to deal with the problem at hand
13. Be aware of life outside of work, read extensively-develop a broader outlook to life. REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS
14. Be patient, a lot of anxiety is because we are in a hurry to get things done, if something isnt working, set it aside and return to it later
15. Remind yourself of the good things in life, and the people to share it with
16. Also remember that there is nothing embarassing about feeling depressed, or thinking dark thoughts-it might seem like the end of the world, but it really isnt, if u find yourself sinking into a stage where you think you might do something drastic to hurt yourself or others around you, call a friend, talk to someone. DO NOT ACT ON IMPULSE.

I would like to think that each of us is a special person, and no matter who we are, we have a unique contribution to make to those around us, and to the work we do. It perhaps takes time, but we are on earth for a reason, and yes, perhaps for some of us (like me) that reason takes longer to figure out than others, but doesnt matter, I still can persist, if I am good at it, well good for me, if not, I can work on making it better.

I know a lot of us who are working under immense pressure at either academics or at work. And I would thru this post, like to reach out to all of us in similar stages in life, and say, hey I am going thru the same feelings and thoughts..this is just my way of dealing with them.

Breathe deeply. Inhale. Look around, its a beautiful world. :)